The Twilight Zone

When most people hear "The Twilight Zone", they think of Rod Serling narrating a series of Black And White Science Fiction stories. But in Caving and to me, the Twilight Zone is the sport, where light meets shadow, where we first enter when we start down the path to view ourselves. It can be a time of great fear and exhilaration.

Sitting here now I feel both, scared and ecstatic, its funny how both sensations are similar. The esoteric and unusual have always fascinated me, ever sense I was a child. I can remember watching TV and reading books on the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot, on UFO's and Monsters.
I was at the library today, and Kat found two of the Time Life books on the Paranormal, we bought them for a dollar each and brought them home. The feeling was something really deep, almost telluric in nature. When I was a kid, my Aunt Lori owned the entire set, now my Aunt Lori is probably the most responsible for my being interested in the things I am, she was the person that had me watching horror movies at 6 years old and laughing at them. But when it came time to read those books, I had to get up, go wash my hands, show her they were clean, before she would let me hold them. I look back now and realize... that was a ritual, a literal and metaphorical cleansing before handling something powerful.

I stayed interested in such things, but had to learn to hide it, to cover up what I was fascinated by. While I dont now blame him, at the time I did, my stepdad didnt understand much of what I am drawn too and still doesnt. And his self-defense mechanism for such is to ridicule it and me. So I learned to not talk about what I found called to me. I lived like that for too long. Now I am my own person, I make decisions on what I want to do.

That is frightening and exciting at the same time. So, due to a friend's fellow interest, I found the AODA and their path of druidry. Their self paced style of learning fits me, I can move fast when I feel comfortable and then slow down when I dont quite get something.

I read the book, and found that I did believe in much of what was said, I really found the whole explanation of binaries and Trinaries to be so true. I want to do this, I really do, but I feel that the money to pay them is a step I need to take, one that must be done before I step forward on the path offically.

So, now I have to choose what Spiral I want to follow.

Music: is out, I like listening, but I can't play worth a flip. Maybe if and when I pursue the Second or Third Degree, I may undertake that as something that is a challenge.

Sacred Geometry and Earth Mysteries: I really looked into both of these, but on further study. They seem to meld too seamlessly for me, maybe I am over-simplifying things. But it seems to study one, I will need to learn the other.

Divination: A very likely candidate for the Second Degree, Tarot and Oracle Cards fascinate me, but I do not feel the pull towards them right now.

So that leaves Poetry, Healing, and Magic. Magic has always called to me, I have purchased and sold so many books on Magic that its ridiculous. Healing I have done some of with Massage school, which I am contemplating pursuing again. (There goes my wanting to do so much!) Yet other things are also calling out to me. I want to graduate from college, I want to go to Grad School, all that, I know those are probably a pipe dream, but DAMNIT! I want to try. Ok, rants over... back to the list. Poetry, in the form of haiku, I have done off and on for a long time. So, maybe I will do Haiku and mix in Magic studies as well. That feels right, we will see.

As I said earlier, the Twilight Zone can be a scary place, full of new oppurtunities and dangers, hopes and nightmares. But for me at least, its better than where I was, in a false light, stuck in place not growing. So now I move deeper, into darker places, my Caverns call me and with friends beside me, I will fathom their depths.